(considered for posting here∞ but rejected by that early morning's last flash of sanity)

Theorem: having a few individual weirdnesses doesn't make you weird, only human. My contribution to the thread: I couldn't swallow a pill until I was about 16. It was obviously (to both parents and self) a mere matter of practice and willpower considering the excessive rate at which I ordinarily stuff food and drink down my throat. But for 16 years, there is was -- hardly a real detriment since I very rarely required oral medicine, but a weirdness nonetheless.

OTOH, I'm a whistling god. My range is extremely broad (3 octaves) and consistent (as good as my absolute pitch memory is, contracting my lips to their minimum aperture is an even faster way to find C6, then microadjusted by ear). The flexibility I achieve in both legato and detached leaps is superior to my best attempts to sing or play the same line even where the latters' range permits. I can effect intake/outtake transitions like a good string player can his bowings -- either hidden (at least from uncritical ears) or completely/correctly subsumed within phrasing. Vibrato, trills, and tremolos have been mastered to the point of thoughtlessness. I can circular-breath. My dynamic range exceeds that of even a trombone or grand piano, though not in every register. I can maintain most of this technique independently from my vocal chords (no hum/whistle counterpoint yet, but that milestone is progressing more quickly than my brass multiphonics are). The only remaining impediments to claiming official Deity status are a lack of a good replacement for triple-tonguing and the fact that my sight-whistling isn't quite where it needs to be (atonal lines are still a bit easier on keyboard for obvious reasons; transposed clefs remain easier on brass for reasons I haven't, err, divined).

Unfortunately, I think even hiring myself out as a teacher of salt-water gargle techniques would be a better business plan than commercially recording a complete whistling of Arban's Conservatory Method.


Back to CollectedWritings